This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
