that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize