I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize