I'm lost and stupid without you.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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