I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
