Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
