How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
These tits shall not be calmed
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
