I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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