That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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