I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
