I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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