what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
