Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
