i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You can't just leave with hair like that
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
