wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
