We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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