If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Drake has all the answers
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
