i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I need a burrito and a hug.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
