the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize