his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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