Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
