why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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