4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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