Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
