no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It's shark week go big or go home
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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