let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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