Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
