you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
