why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
