Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
