He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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