Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
