Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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