im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
