ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm going to jail i love you
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Rumble strips road head = magical
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
