Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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