Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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