I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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