Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize