Ambien. No doubt about it.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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