New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
