i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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