Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
