remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
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