We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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