If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You ever have a fart follow you around?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize