you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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