There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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