Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
