Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize