its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
