eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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