Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize