i will never coherently bang her
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
