i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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