remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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