Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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