just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
