Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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