is your mom at the bar?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
