u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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