Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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